Children of our Heavenly Father

A group dedicated to gender equality in the Mormon Church called All Enlist, has asked women to wear pants to church meetings on Sunday as a show of solidarity. They’ve also asked men to wear something purple like a shirt, tie or socks (a historically common suffragette color) to show their support of the equality movement. This does not sit well with me for so many reasons. I’ve thought about this for days now and wanted to document my feelings. If you disagree, don’t read on. My intent is not to excite emotions, but simply to explain mine.

As parents of multiple children, we often give privileges to one child but not another. For example, we allow one child to stay up later than the other. We ask for one child to call home throughout the day while other we don’t. Though our children do not see equality in this, we do it because we know there is a reason behind our unequal treatment. This unequal treatment is not unchangeable. As the younger child grows up, we may change the rule to let them stay up as late as the older child. Perhaps we move to a better neighborhood and we don’t need our child to check in as often. Circumstances change, the world changes. But the fact of the matter is, our children don’t understand why there is inequality and as their parent, we just ask them to trust that we know better and that we will make things “equal” when the situation is right and when we, in our wisdom, deem the time to be right.

I believe that women and men are loved equally by the Lord. I also believe that women and men are not the same. I trust that our Heavenly Father, who loves us and has greater wisdom than us, knows when the situation is right for change to occur. His church is run by His children but if we truly have faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we believe that these men (our prophet and the apostles and other leaders of the church) direct and guide the church based on direction from Heavenly Father. And if we believe that, can’t we be patient and trust that the Lord knows what he is doing?

Is it possible to have belief in the worth of women, in the equal love of our Heavenly Father, but still accept and believe that for whatever reason, Heavenly Father has asked the church be led by men who hold the Holy Priesthood and not by women? Why must we question this as a matter of feminism? Why must we spend so much energy questioning and bemoaning the fact that women serve a mission for 18 months versus the men’s 24 months? Why do we question the guidance from the church authorities that mothers not work and raise the family in the home (where possible)? Why do we cry “it’s not fair!” in the name of equality? Can we not trust that the Lord maybe understands something that we don’t? 

Shouldn’t we spend our energies improving ourselves in any way we can, in improving our self-image, in finding ways to allow the Priesthood to impact our lives, in prayerfully asking Heavenly Father to confirm our testimonies of the gospel and in asking for the Holy Ghost to confirm that God is in control and understands things we may not?

As parents we know our children cannot understand, we ask them to trust. We don’t make changes simply because they cry for change or complain “it’s not fair”. We understand that our children do not have all the information. However, we will listen to them as they come to us calmly, asking to understand, and pleading for change. Sometimes we adjust and sometimes, we still say “though your request is valid and though I love you, trust me a bit longer as I can see the time is not yet right.”

Now all of that said, I don’t understand why, but can accept, that some women of the church do feel they are treated as lower class citizens. This is a valid feeling and some of stories I’ve heard that foster these types of feelings break my heart. Whatever that feeling is, however, Sunday worship is not the time or place to plan a political movement.

It’s not just about the pants. I would welcome anyone to church who doesn’t have a dress to wear or who feels that a dressy pair of pants is their “best dress”. I once went to church in jeans after camping out in Moab because we were not planning to stay in town till Sunday but ended up doing so. I agree with those who say that the Lord will welcome anyone who is coming to worship him. But when I know that my “best dress” is in fact a dress and I choose to wear pants to prove a point? In my mind, not appropriate.

We come to church to commune with the Lord, to partake of the sacrament and to renew our covenants with Heavenly Father. We come in humility and respect. Sunday worship is not about whining or "showing solidarity" in a political movement, it is about individuals coming to the Lord with humble hearts.

Women are smart. These women are especially smart. Surely they could find a better way and place to calmly come before the leaders of the church to express their concerns and to ask the prophet to pray for guidance. The Lord, like any of us parents, may listen to the pleadings of his children and make a change, or he may say “though your request is valid and though I love you, trust me a bit longer as I can see the time is not yet right.”