Tuesday, October 18, 2011
praying for patience
I totally lost my cool this morning and yelled at Maddy "You are making me so mad!!!" He whining and kicking and screaming stopped immediatly, she started bawling and hugging me just the same way as when she fell down the stairs (yeah, she fell down the stairs Saturday ). It was tears of hurt and I felt like I had just broken her heart. I immediately when from angry to guilt. What is wrong with me? It was my fault we were running late - I never leave enough time. She wouldn't let my brush her hair (as usual) and I just lost it. After she stopped crying and after I told her I was sorry and I loved her a million times. She got up happy and walked away. As a parting she turned around and said with a smile "I'm not crying anymore. You're not screaming anymore". Happy as a clam. I felt like dirt.
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3 comments:
I frequently "hurt Lilian's feelings"...or so she tells me. And yeah, the cry is of a different variety than when she's hurt or mad. It's just like you said...like her heart is breaking.
Don't feel like dirt. It happens. And lots of times I find myself feeling guilty for "hurting feelings" even when I've been mad at her for something that IS her fault! Sheesh.
I think every mother in existance knows exactly how you feel and has been in a similar situation. For some of us it happens frequently. All you really can do is tell them you're sorry and do what your blog title says. Pray for patience and hope that you can handle it better next time. Parenting is a learning process. Poor first children that get the brunt of our mistakes!
All I have to say is - if this is your first time, WOW! That's impressive!! :) Yeah, it's hard sometimes. For me, it's ESPECIALLY when I'm running late. I love that she pointed out that she isn't crying and you aren't screaming! :) Love that girl!! You are definitely an amazing mom and it's okay to lose your cool. (At least I hope it is cause I do it all the time. ha ha ha)
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