a surreal day

February 4th was a surreal day. It wasn't anything super spectacular but there was a moment in the evening when I stepped outside my day and looked back and thought "What is this life that I'm living! Who would have thought?"

 

The Wednesday began as it normally does with me dropping Maddy off at kindergarten and  heading to work. It was a different day, however, because I had a photo shoot today! Each year, the company celebrates the staff with 10 year anniversaries by creating a photo that then lingers the halls for the year. This group included me as I had started with XANGO in 2005. The plan was to create an image similar to the one from the 2005 hit TV show LOST. (and I have to brag on myself because it was my suggestion that ended up being used!).

Our original plan was to capture the whole group but then the creative department decided it would be easier to take each person individually and Photoshop everyone together.



Not me (obviously - it's Brad Belnap) but a shot of the set up

 I came at my scheduled time and walked into the "studio". They had the white backdrop with lights and the computer off to the side showing each shot. There was a craft services table and music playing and a WIND Machine!!! They pinned my shirt back behind me so it was a bit more fitted, they told me to relax and not be nervous. They told me to constantly move and change my poses and look off into the "horizon" - never directly at the camera. They began snap, snap, snapping photos. I felt like a fool. But they kept saying "You're doing great!" "That one was perfect" "You are a natural". I felt dumb.

 

After awhile I decided that I needed to start acting. For the next 30 minutes I did everything I have learned from watching years of "Americas Next Top Model". Since we were supposed to look intense and strong and resolute all those tips from Tyra Banks came to me.

 

. . . Don't forget to SMIZE (smile with your eyes even if not with your mouth)

 

. . . pose while holding an inhale of breath to give you intensity rather than flatness

 

. . . make shapes with your body so there is something interesting to look at

 

. . . leave space between your arms and your body and between your legs to give the impression of movement even though it is a two-dimensional shot

 

I'm not sure if I really did a good job but pretending to be a model certainly helped me to feel a little bit less foolish. 

After the day ended at work, I jumped in the car and headed to the recording studio to record that month's song for Lex de Azevedo's Alleluia album. It was actually there that I thought "what a crazy life - a photo shoot this morning and a recording session this evening."

a picture at Chorale the next night with Katie and Sarah

Since that day, I've thought back a lot on what my life has become and how different it is - how it is nothing like I thought it would be 20 years ago when I was a freshman in college. 20 years ago I thought I was going to graduate with a degree in elementary school education, but I would actually never really teach because I would have 5 kids that I stayed home with.

That vision changed a bit through college and I ended up graduating as an accountant, and while I did get married,  I figured I would do taxes at a public accounting firm for the rest of my working life.

Here I am 12 years into marriage to Scott, 6 years into being a mother of the best daughter ever, and 10 years into a career in industry at a Direct Selling Company, having traveled to Tokyo, Taipei, Europe, Mexico City, Toronto, Maui. I've met people from around the world and learned so much about international taxation. I've been blessed to work with so many different individuals and been able to participate in planning product launches and global events and marketing strategies. I'm heading up the financial department as a CFO which was never in the plans because how many tax people become a CFO?! And, then there are the photo shoots and recording sessions!

I have learned that whatever plans I had for myself and my future will only be bigger and grander than expected because I am willing and excited to put myself out there and to learn and to grow. I love challenges because they become opportunities. I love any experience that can teach me something and who knows where that will end up leading. It's hard, and my life is full, but it's exciting and satisfying and . . . a bit surreal sometimes.

I love the moments when I look back at my life and think "Heavenly Father, why didn't you tell me that this was what you had in store for me?!" Who knows if I would have done anything different but I'm ever so grateful that this is where He has led me. I am blessed and full and happy.